5 BEST Ways To Ruin Your Career Fast! FAIL How To Manage Stress 101

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How To Manage Stress At Work: Planning For Success

When planning for success in your career, it’s just as important to remember what not to do as it is for you to remember what to be sure to do.


So I thought I’d prepare a 5 point list of ideas to help you, but with a touch of irony and a dash of satire.

Besides, continually moving up the ladder of success can be so dull and so boring. After all, who really wants to live their dreams anyway?

This society places way to much emphasis on vitality, high hopes and enthusiasm for life!

Why take the high road when the low road is so much more fun?

Well, if it’s the low road you aim to achieve in life, then here’s your very own plan for success:
*Disclaimer: Do Not Take This Seriously

5 BEST Ways to Ruin Your Career Fast!

1. Never try new things.

All of those people out there trying to improve themselves waste an incredible amount of time which could be better spent going to the bar, lounging in front of the tv, or better yet, doing both! :-)

Being successful in your career is way overrated. It’s much more fun to just stay where you are, rather than read from top resources like Job-Acle and Business Insider.

2. Be sure to continually argue with as many people as you possibly can.

How to manage stress 5 tipsPeace and serenity are overrated, too.
Colleagues who don’t understand your point of view are simply WRONG.                                          Only the people who agree with you are the ones worth listening to anyhow.                            Besides, putting in a tiny bit of effort to implement good conflict management skills would only take time away from all of the fun to be had while practicing tip #1. to perfection!

3. Speak as badly about yourself as you can, to everyone you encounter, as often as possible.

Who actually believes words written by people like Geoffrey Chaucer and William Shakespeare, trying to get us to believe silly little things like “Many a true word is spoken in jest”!?

Positive self-talk is only for people who really think high self-esteem could actually DO some good.

So take it easy, not using positive words when speaking about yourself is the warmest, most kind and generous invitation you can give others to speak about you in the same way, using your own words.

4. Use your vision to see clearly and sufficiently all the way to the very tip of your nose.

Why bother planning for success? Since you don’t want your career to grow or find that ideal job, there’s no reason to waste time seeing it either.

You could be doing something much more exciting like carefully observing how nicely and quickly the grass grows.

Besides, creative visualization is only for the “daydreamers”.

And hey, it didn’t really do much for people like Greg Louganis, Oprah Winfrey, and Jim Carrey did it? So why bother?!

5. Don’t take learning how to manage stress seriously.

Relax, the people at work already know that you’re prone to arguments because of your strict adherence to tip #2. :-)
They have an easy time accepting the fact that you’re just a tad bit stressed 24/7.
They also enjoy following your lead because you practice tip #3 like a real pro!

Take it easy, people will love to be in your company, family and friends included!

This is a great way that you can be sure to stay where you are and keep the same stress levels that you’ve got right now!

There you have it!

How To Manage Stress At Work: The 5 BEST Ways To Ruin Your Career Fast!

Again, this was written “just for fun” and of course, the opposite of these steps would be a better choice if you really want to manage stress in your work effectively.

I thought I’d do a little reverse psychology with you to also highlight how easy it is to forget the little things, that can add up to big things, which could possibly rob you of your dreams.

Cocktail hour, television and even watching the grass grow can all be regular things to do in your life. Ok….well, maybe try to stay away from watching the grass grow on a regular basis, unless you’re in landscaping, of course. :-)

How To Manage Stress 5 tips to get the pep in your step!However, never forget to let these habits be complementaryto your overall plan in life. This is the best way to avoid “escapism” through these types of free-time activities.

By using effective stress management techniques, you won’t need to escape from your life because you will enjoy creating the life you really want for yourself, without the weight of bad stress management on your shoulders.

I hope you’ve had a good chuckle or two and will share with us how you feel about this parody on career growth in the comments section.

*****On Friday we have another 5 point list of great tips to help you to apply the opposite of these 5 tips!

Don’t forget to share this with someone you think it could help, as well.

Join in on the fun with us on Facebook and Twitter!

Here’s to your stress management success!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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31 Comments.

  1. Thanks, I got alot out of this and I plan to sign up! I had no idea Jim Carrey was into visualization. I might try it myself. I’d like it if you could explore a little bit more on that topic.

  2. No one can reject the features of this post on this web site, nice work, keep it all the time.

  3. Jim uses this stuff too? i never knew, thanks for your share!

  4. i loved this post and got a big laugh! love your irony!

  5. yes, the posts are very good.

  6. i love reading through your blog, thank you for sharing with us, i love this satirical point of view. made me laugh too.

  7. very good, look forward to view your other articles.

  8. thank you, you have gained a new fan, these texts you post here are very useful to me.

  9. nice blog ! this article was cute to read!

  10. it is really an informative post. thanks , i found it hilarious!

  11. Thanks for the write up. Made me laugh.

  12. pretty good post. i just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that i have really enjoyed reading your blog posts.

  13. awesome blog. i enjoyed reading your articles. this is truly a great read for me. i have bookmarked it and i am looking forward to reading new articles. keep up the good work!

  14. amazing post. Just loved it! (chuckled too!)

  15. i agreed, this is a fantastic article for all the newbie too…just starting in the job market so i need to know what not to do.

  16. well done. this gets the point accross and made me laugh, too.

  17. the resume information is quite helpful. your sharing is much appreciated.

  18. you know how to take the attention of the readers with such good ideas. this really got me to thinking and i will sign up and follow you too.

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