The Cycle Of Anger=>You Can Change That Cycle Now
I know many people who have a “mad at the world” attitude, don’t you? To be honest with you, I’ve gone through those phases, as well. You do your best to plan and prepare, then something comes up and spoils it all. You work hard at your job and keep on top of things, then have problems getting the promotion you deserve. You give your children the best you can and they still have difficulties just living life in a good way. The list is endless.
There are so many things that disappoint you when you know you’ve done everything to ensure that you wouldn’t be disappointed and then consequently, you get angry. Many times, not with any singular situation, but with life in general. It all just seems so unfair and useless. It’s certainly not a time in life when you want to even think about positive affirmations.
So what do you do? When I feel down like that, first of all, I know I have to do something to change the cycle and grab some positive thoughts because if not, I can find myself in a downward spiraling cycle which can even result in depression and apathy. Has this ever happened to you? You have a bad morning, getting out of bed on the wrong foot, then that turns into a bad day, then before you know it, you’re whole week is shot! It’s like watching a train wreck…but in slow motion….ouch!
How To Change the Cycle of Anger: Coping With Anger Means Coping With Stress
It’s not such an easy cycle to change, though I wish I could say it’s easy, but the good news is that it can be done. To start off with, since most likely, you’re not going to be in a place of being able to accept positive thoughts, positive affirmations, much less laughter therapy, it’s a good idea for you to do a quick check of where my perspective is at. Ask yourself questions like:
Am I giving permanent reality to temporary problems? (that one is big!)
Why am I so angry with everyone and everything?
What do you believe that they have done to you? (remember that beliefs can be changed.)
Perhaps what has really occured is a simple misunderstanding where good communication with that person will resolve the problem. As Dan Pallotta puts it in his article in the Harvard Business Review “anti-communication is the source of all misunderstanding, and misunderstanding is the source of 99% of our problems.”
Maybe in some cases, someone really has done you wrong, but one thing is for sure; if you react to their wrong doing by holding onto that anger, then whoever did you wrong will continue to have power over you by conditioning your life.
Perhaps their wrong doing was something that happened over a week ago, but your being angry today conditions the way you treat people and circumstances today, and it’s not so easy to get good results from people and circumstances when you bring anger to the table. Staying angry with someone or something is kind of like “I don’t have a solution, but I sure love this problem”. Take a look at 5 solutions.
Here Are 5 Anger Management Tips:
1. Do something you love:
Go get busy with the model car you’re building or your gardening. Doing something you love will give you a positive outlet for all of the extra adrenalin that anger produces.
2. Get outside and take a long, brisk walk:
Distancing yourself from the area will help calm your mental stress and the excercise will calm your physical stress from the situaton.
3. Speak it thoroughly out of your system:
Call an 800 number, your best friend or partner and let them help you to calm down.
4. Invite distractions:
It might sound odd, but this is actually a good time for you to get yourself distracted because anything that can move your mind from that which has angered you, will inevitably help you to calm down.
(Just remember to move your mind back into the process of facing whatever angered you after your anger has subsided.)
5. Pump up the volume:
Listen to some of your favorite music and even sing along because this too, will keep your mind focused on the song you’re singing more than the anger you felt. (Needless to say, this might not be the best time to listen to those songs that have great tunes, but provoke violence.)
What Do You Do When You’re Angry With Yourself?
Also within this cycle are the negative thoughts that you might have towards yourself. You know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by life, right? Times when there just don’t seem to be enough hours in a day to get things done, and this can cause a lot of anger and resentment, as well. How many times have you heard the saying “there is method to my madness”, but the bottom line is that the less organized you are, the more difficult it is for you to get things done.
It’s kind of ironic I make such a bold statement like that because even though I grew up participating in a yearly family activity called “spring cleaning”, to be honest, it’s not something I carried into adult life as a yearly activity. For me, it’s usually more along the lines of “when the closets and drawers look like they’ll explode, I guess it’s time to clean out some things”!:-)
This leads me to this important question: do you harbor negative thoughts about yourself which are about things that you actually have control over? If you find yourself getting excessively angry with yourself over some particular issue in your life, ask yourself: “Can I change this? If so, what can I do to change this?” Positive affirmations helped me bring out better organizational skills. When you use positive self-talk, it helps you get on track much more quickly than getting angry with yourself.
One of the best ways this positive self-talk helps is to raise your awareness of what you can do to make your positive affirmations really become a realty in your life. Some things that helped me are these new resources I became more aware of, like the specialized organizational assistance I have with software I got here. Sure there are still times when I like a pen and paper, but more and more, software like this increases efficiency, saves time and hey, it’s weightless. You can also get the solution so many of us have found relief in plus new ideas on how to declutter your life by going to: Organize.com. Are you like those of us who have way too many paper documents contributing to clutter? Then try this useful tool which will resolve that problem for you: TextBridge Pro 11 is the simple and fast way to convert paper into editable electronic documents!
You Can Tweak Your Anger Management Skills
The important thing to remember is that once you identify why you are angry, you can start taking steps to resolve that anger. Sitting with anger for a long time is not a good idea. Anger is a devious companion to have in life. Sure, there are times when anger can be channeled wisely to produce marvelous results of increased drive and determination, but more often than not, anger corrodes your inner happiness and peace.
But if you use a this new approach for coping with anger, the solutions will be easier to grasp and remain in your reach. Once you have a good hold of solutions, you will be in a better mindset. Laughter therapy can help accomplish this for you.
You know those moments when you don’t know if it’s better to laugh or to cry? Choose laughter! Laughter is your tool to get you to a place of peace from which you can begin to access the power of positive affirmations. The American Phychological Association actually lists humor as one of the ways they believe anger can be managed and you can find more on that, including their other suggestions by clicking here, The APA.
Anger Knocks At The Door, But Peace Answers: Get That Special Place Of Peace
Be nice to yourself, do something good for yourself. There may be people who do things that get you down, but that doesn’t have to keep you down. Try using the power of positive affirmations to lift you up. If you have a situation where you believe someone has wronged you, try saying “I’m not going to let he or she stop me” instead of giving the wrongdoing more power by focusing on that wrongful action. Positive self-talk can really do a lot to help you turn the cycle around. What this little positive affirmation actually does is: it focuses your mind and your thoughts on your power to change the cycle and keeps you out of the reach of a negative cycle of anger. With positive thoughts and positive words in your life, you will automatically find positive actions which are in harmony with your mindset. You can also try journaling about how well you are overcoming that particular situation and writing down the new actions you plan to take so that you can physically see how that negative situation is actually bringing out the best in you. Try a nice, long relaxing bath, a good game of basketball with the fellas or some pet therapy. Managing anger is a lifelong responsibility, so it’s ok for you to give yourself the time you need. If the methods you tried before still brought you to the same results, maybe it’s time to try something new, like some laughter therapy and let the power of positive aaffirmations really start working for you!
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